I am lucky. I have a father, a caring and a responsible father that I love so very much. He has done a lot for us and I can't thank him enough.
But, let's say, every person has a bad side. Including my father.
This is not the first time that I write about him, I wrote about him so many times. In all those secret diaries that I was keeping in my childhood, I always find "articles" about him. But I deleted everything I wrote about him in my computer, because I felt guilty. I should be thankful to have a father , but instead I keep complaining. Yes, I am thankful, I'm so thankful, but his actions are really affecting my life, and my brother's, and my sisters! Everyone should think like him, should act like him, should live like him. But we can't! We have our own lives, our own thoughts...He's never okay with our choices. For him, we are weird, all of our decisions are completely wrong. Sometimes I feel like I can't handle this anymore.
Those poor and few words cannot express how upsetting it is to live with him...
I want FREEDOM, I want to live by myself and not being judge for every move I make! I want to be able to make my OWN decisions without him interfering! I just want FREEDOM!
But, I love you dad.
Your lucky and cursed daughter.

When I started writing this article, I suddenly thought of paradise. I have no idea why. I have some pictures of me when I was a child hanging in front of my desk, was it paradise? Care free, drama free, not really aware of what's happening around.. Well yes in a way.. But no, definitely no. 
(I'm not talking about religion, it's the concept in general!) 
I can stay in front of my laptop for hours, trying to figure out what paradise is for me.. But I couldn't write a single word. Why is it so complex? So hard to define? It seems like an obvious concept, but apparently it's not! 
I have to admit , I aim to achieve that idea of paradise of me, that's why I called it "Dark". Dark because I have so many dreams in my head. Dark because my mind is a bunch of random ideas which are constantly changing. Dark because I don't even know what paradise is for me. 

It's funny how those ideas mess up with my head, and it's hilarious as me trying to put it on words here. But who cares, all the readers are perfectly strangers... which is nice. 

Live. Laugh. Make love.. xoxo 

Life sucks. It really does. Love does to. It's that weird, magical and annoying thing you feel every second of the day. It's a poison that aims to destroy every part of you as long as you are breathing. That's how much love sucks.
It's really hard to find a love shared by two persons, sometimes I think it's impossible! Everyday, I just meet that one-sided love.. 
He loved me, he was so sincere and honest, so sweet, so caring..He was so incredibly nice, sweetly nervous and would treat me like a queen.  But I left him. I thought I could feel the same if I gave him a shot, but I couldn't. All I was doing is playing with his feelings, since I wasn't sure about mine... 
I broke his heart, I know.I made him feel like a total shit. It's devastating. What am I supposed to do now? Ask him to forgive me? Forget me? ..
I'm sorry.